from: Leanne Scales
to: ltl.originality@gmail.com
date: Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 8:37 PM
subject: Gidday
mailed-by: optusnet.com.au
Hi Shaaun,
I am back in Australia after my crazy week in Las Vegas.
It was so nice to meet you. You are quite inspirational and I am sorry I didn't have had more time to talk to you.
Sorry if my message is short, I am actually ill today. Have come down with tonsillitis and have been suffering from the general aches and pains that go along with that.
Anyway, happy travels, and I hope to hear about your further adventures.
Adios
Lea
=================================================================
from: Shaaun Na
to: Leanne Scales
date: Fri, Jun 27, 2008 at 12:01 PM
subject: Re: Gidday
mailed-by: gmail.com
Hi, Lea
I'm glad to hear from you. And it's good news that you had crazy week in Las Vegas. I like there.
I feel the same way that you didn't have had more time to talk. But thanks god we have e-mail. I would like to communicate with you more. Anyhow it's sad news that you are ill and have been suffering from that pain. I'm shocked and sorry about that. I believe you will be healed because you are strong, healthy and positive.
About me, well, I'm not traveling now but after finish my walking journey, I have been feeling 'my journey is not end yet because my story is not end yet. In fact, my story is not long enough(for the book that I want to write about.)' But why universe is not helping me? Why everything is not going well? I mean because of my legal status in this country, because of I can't get a job neither make money, I can't live as the story supposed to be; love to live, live to love; being living evidence that one human can live to love even in this non-loving based society(not only social structure but also peoples); prove to people that just one individual, one human being can generate much more energy/power than power of military, by act of love. That's what I want to write after I actually have experienced.
After struggle with my dilemma, I've realized the reason why things not going well. It was because I'm not mean to be here, in this city, because I'm far away from the woman who I love (I've met her on my walking journey, she is living in east state). It was clear reason that I got to go to her. Distance is ultimate obstacle of act of loving; at least, at this point.
So I've decided to go to her. To do so, I still need money to buy a train ticket. Since I had made decision, I became calm and excited. After few more communication with her through e-mail, especially after I confirmed that we love each other- love that not only by feeling and emotion, by will and act. Through this experience I felt that sensation, that my brain filled by pleasure so there is no room to feel anxiety, depression, nervous, and anger. It was amazing because now I am proving I can be happy without money because I'm loving. Although I've proved that I can content without money by myself, it was not really happy and exciting.
So...that's my news and on going story so far. I hope you can enjoy this and feel better Lea.
Whenever you have time and feel good, let me know what you think. I'd like to hear your feed back. And I would like to hear your story and experience.
Shaaun
P.S. Thank you for the picture, I look funny in the picture and you are beautiful as always. I will send you my pictures from my walking journey.
=================================================================
Leanne Scales (lscales@optusnet.com.au)
Sent: Sat 6/28/08 11:15 PM
To: 'Shaaun Na' (havemind@hotmail.com)
Hi Shaaun,
I am feeling much better now thank you. My darling father came and took me to the doctor as I was unable to drive, and now that the medication has started to work I feel excellent.
What wonderful news about you having found love. And you are so right about things not going the way you thought you wanted in San Fran, because you are just not meant to be there. I wish I had known these things earlier. In the pursuit of love, I would have gladly given you some money to get you to her faster.
Every time I am frustrated with my life, my sister always reminds me that we are exactly were we are suppose to be at that given moment in time. Which annoys me, because usually I did not want to be there. There always seems to be a lesson to be learnt every step of the way.
It is wonderful to be home with my children and puppy dog. We have all been very productive in the yard today. Pulling out weeds, trimming shrubs, attempting to mow the grass but the mower won't start. My sons birthday was on Thursday last week, 10 years of age and just delightful. My daughter turns 14 in two weeks. She is a very good girl, but is going through those hormonal teenage years and I could strangle her sometimes.
Vegas was a week of decadence and indulgences for all senses. My friend Sally who I stayed with is quite wealthy and has alot of connections in the Casino world so I was spoilt. I'm not complaining. I lead a very simple life at home. I earn enough money to keep a modest roof over our heads, I drive an old but reliable car, we rarely have takeaway, I don't drink or smoke, I buy all clothes when they are on sale, and I am not too proud to shop at the seconds and recycle clothes stores. This way I figure I can save and allows me to do something nice for myself and children every now and then. I am very grateful for all that I have.
My trip away far exceeded my expectations. The powers above were very kind to me to allow all the pieces to fall into place everywhere I went.
I have attached a photo of my daughter Courtney with our Cavoodle pup Lilly. And also photo of my son Daniel taken only 4 days ago on his birthday.
Thank you for all your photos. I loved the horses running in the water. All the dead animals were a little disturbing. ha ha ha.
Domestic duties once again call as I figure out what to cook for dinner this evening. I hope my message finds you well and in good spirits.
All my best
Lea
===========================================================
From: Shaaun Na (havemind@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sat 7/05/08 6:05 PM
To: Leanne Scales (lscales@optusnet.com.au)
Lea
Sorry for the late response I was really glad about your news and I like your stroy. I can see you have humility that I can learn from you. I was having hard time dealing with my feelings and illusions because I'm in love. So it's not all negative and destructive behaviour.
Basically it starts from the fact that she and I have distance and she is in Mexico now for vacation and I haven't heard from her more than 10 days. Now it's been 15 days.
I actually have learned really fast through this hundreds of feeling and experiencing because constant stimulation makes me feel alive by pain and pleasure then that intensity inhenced by feeling helps me to focus and doing my best to figure out why. Then I use all the knowledge about love, human mind and myself that I have I apply that to my reality and situation. So I truely learning through this process. Everyday what I have been doing was get negative feeling > thinking, reading > realizing new things > then next day reflect. One of thing I realized is humankind cannot live without love, every single cells actually strive love. The difference of behaviour is matter of how much I aware of it, how much I conscious about it.
I'd like to talk about kid. There is limit of understanding as a person who doesn't have a kid but I thought about having and bringing own kid before several times. And so far, my personal idea about kid is that If I have kid I have to be responsible for my kid it's not because of virtue or morality, it's because of respect of human being as a mere human. If I have a kid it's another human being before my kid, it's another soul before another human. I have to think that way. Then as a mere human it's most complex and fragile animal completely depend on it's parents. And I have to ask myself am I capable to provide basic physical, biological, social need? more importantly do I have knowledge and ability to provide all that very sophisticated psychological needs? Isn't that common idea 'nobody is perfect, no parents are perfect, they are doing their best' arrogant and irresponsible excuses? Isn't other soul, human being is more important than my ego that want to have a baby or being a perent for sake of desire of experience? As a person who knows how significant the infulence of parent to kid is, who has a symptom that extremely hard to overcome that occured by lack of perenting, I have to make humble decision. So as a single I won't have kid, but I will not be a single intire my life; as couple, I cannot confirm that decision by myself because I have to consider my half's idea and need. So at this point, I don't know I will have a kid or not in the future. But if my woman and my decision is having a kid, I strongly consider an adoption. I think adoption is one of great act of brotherly love. Thinking of people who already have kid without big conscious, I have strong compassion toward kids of those parents. Sometimes I get angry when I see irresponsible parents. That's why I am not animal activist even though I am a vegan. To me, emergency in this world is not animal cruelty. Lack of love among humankind, especially lack of knowledge and ability of love as a parent, lover, brother and sister, as a human.It's easier to think and say this as a person who doesn't have a kid yet. I respect what you have done to your kids more than 14 years, I think it is extremely hard takecaring two kids in a sametime well. I have no idea about all the parenting skills at different ages. Especially as a divorced parent that make it harder. I can only hope and believe you can do well. I guess you know more than me about great rewarding experience through perantal love because you have experienced.
Anyhow,Let me know what you think, and your news. Thank you for pictures and your wish.
Shaaun
to: ltl.originality@gmail.com
date: Thu, Jun 26, 2008 at 8:37 PM
subject: Gidday
mailed-by: optusnet.com.au
Hi Shaaun,
I am back in Australia after my crazy week in Las Vegas.
It was so nice to meet you. You are quite inspirational and I am sorry I didn't have had more time to talk to you.
Sorry if my message is short, I am actually ill today. Have come down with tonsillitis and have been suffering from the general aches and pains that go along with that.
Anyway, happy travels, and I hope to hear about your further adventures.
Adios
Lea
=================================================================
from: Shaaun Na
to: Leanne Scales
date: Fri, Jun 27, 2008 at 12:01 PM
subject: Re: Gidday
mailed-by: gmail.com
Hi, Lea
I'm glad to hear from you. And it's good news that you had crazy week in Las Vegas. I like there.
I feel the same way that you didn't have had more time to talk. But thanks god we have e-mail. I would like to communicate with you more. Anyhow it's sad news that you are ill and have been suffering from that pain. I'm shocked and sorry about that. I believe you will be healed because you are strong, healthy and positive.
About me, well, I'm not traveling now but after finish my walking journey, I have been feeling 'my journey is not end yet because my story is not end yet. In fact, my story is not long enough(for the book that I want to write about.)' But why universe is not helping me? Why everything is not going well? I mean because of my legal status in this country, because of I can't get a job neither make money, I can't live as the story supposed to be; love to live, live to love; being living evidence that one human can live to love even in this non-loving based society(not only social structure but also peoples); prove to people that just one individual, one human being can generate much more energy/power than power of military, by act of love. That's what I want to write after I actually have experienced.
After struggle with my dilemma, I've realized the reason why things not going well. It was because I'm not mean to be here, in this city, because I'm far away from the woman who I love (I've met her on my walking journey, she is living in east state). It was clear reason that I got to go to her. Distance is ultimate obstacle of act of loving; at least, at this point.
So I've decided to go to her. To do so, I still need money to buy a train ticket. Since I had made decision, I became calm and excited. After few more communication with her through e-mail, especially after I confirmed that we love each other- love that not only by feeling and emotion, by will and act. Through this experience I felt that sensation, that my brain filled by pleasure so there is no room to feel anxiety, depression, nervous, and anger. It was amazing because now I am proving I can be happy without money because I'm loving. Although I've proved that I can content without money by myself, it was not really happy and exciting.
So...that's my news and on going story so far. I hope you can enjoy this and feel better Lea.
Whenever you have time and feel good, let me know what you think. I'd like to hear your feed back. And I would like to hear your story and experience.
Shaaun
P.S. Thank you for the picture, I look funny in the picture and you are beautiful as always. I will send you my pictures from my walking journey.
=================================================================
Leanne Scales (lscales@optusnet.com.au)
Sent: Sat 6/28/08 11:15 PM
To: 'Shaaun Na' (havemind@hotmail.com)
Hi Shaaun,
I am feeling much better now thank you. My darling father came and took me to the doctor as I was unable to drive, and now that the medication has started to work I feel excellent.
What wonderful news about you having found love. And you are so right about things not going the way you thought you wanted in San Fran, because you are just not meant to be there. I wish I had known these things earlier. In the pursuit of love, I would have gladly given you some money to get you to her faster.
Every time I am frustrated with my life, my sister always reminds me that we are exactly were we are suppose to be at that given moment in time. Which annoys me, because usually I did not want to be there. There always seems to be a lesson to be learnt every step of the way.
It is wonderful to be home with my children and puppy dog. We have all been very productive in the yard today. Pulling out weeds, trimming shrubs, attempting to mow the grass but the mower won't start. My sons birthday was on Thursday last week, 10 years of age and just delightful. My daughter turns 14 in two weeks. She is a very good girl, but is going through those hormonal teenage years and I could strangle her sometimes.
Vegas was a week of decadence and indulgences for all senses. My friend Sally who I stayed with is quite wealthy and has alot of connections in the Casino world so I was spoilt. I'm not complaining. I lead a very simple life at home. I earn enough money to keep a modest roof over our heads, I drive an old but reliable car, we rarely have takeaway, I don't drink or smoke, I buy all clothes when they are on sale, and I am not too proud to shop at the seconds and recycle clothes stores. This way I figure I can save and allows me to do something nice for myself and children every now and then. I am very grateful for all that I have.
My trip away far exceeded my expectations. The powers above were very kind to me to allow all the pieces to fall into place everywhere I went.
I have attached a photo of my daughter Courtney with our Cavoodle pup Lilly. And also photo of my son Daniel taken only 4 days ago on his birthday.
Thank you for all your photos. I loved the horses running in the water. All the dead animals were a little disturbing. ha ha ha.
Domestic duties once again call as I figure out what to cook for dinner this evening. I hope my message finds you well and in good spirits.
All my best
Lea
===========================================================
From: Shaaun Na (havemind@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sat 7/05/08 6:05 PM
To: Leanne Scales (lscales@optusnet.com.au)
Lea
Sorry for the late response I was really glad about your news and I like your stroy. I can see you have humility that I can learn from you. I was having hard time dealing with my feelings and illusions because I'm in love. So it's not all negative and destructive behaviour.
Basically it starts from the fact that she and I have distance and she is in Mexico now for vacation and I haven't heard from her more than 10 days. Now it's been 15 days.
I actually have learned really fast through this hundreds of feeling and experiencing because constant stimulation makes me feel alive by pain and pleasure then that intensity inhenced by feeling helps me to focus and doing my best to figure out why. Then I use all the knowledge about love, human mind and myself that I have I apply that to my reality and situation. So I truely learning through this process. Everyday what I have been doing was get negative feeling > thinking, reading > realizing new things > then next day reflect. One of thing I realized is humankind cannot live without love, every single cells actually strive love. The difference of behaviour is matter of how much I aware of it, how much I conscious about it.
I'd like to talk about kid. There is limit of understanding as a person who doesn't have a kid but I thought about having and bringing own kid before several times. And so far, my personal idea about kid is that If I have kid I have to be responsible for my kid it's not because of virtue or morality, it's because of respect of human being as a mere human. If I have a kid it's another human being before my kid, it's another soul before another human. I have to think that way. Then as a mere human it's most complex and fragile animal completely depend on it's parents. And I have to ask myself am I capable to provide basic physical, biological, social need? more importantly do I have knowledge and ability to provide all that very sophisticated psychological needs? Isn't that common idea 'nobody is perfect, no parents are perfect, they are doing their best' arrogant and irresponsible excuses? Isn't other soul, human being is more important than my ego that want to have a baby or being a perent for sake of desire of experience? As a person who knows how significant the infulence of parent to kid is, who has a symptom that extremely hard to overcome that occured by lack of perenting, I have to make humble decision. So as a single I won't have kid, but I will not be a single intire my life; as couple, I cannot confirm that decision by myself because I have to consider my half's idea and need. So at this point, I don't know I will have a kid or not in the future. But if my woman and my decision is having a kid, I strongly consider an adoption. I think adoption is one of great act of brotherly love. Thinking of people who already have kid without big conscious, I have strong compassion toward kids of those parents. Sometimes I get angry when I see irresponsible parents. That's why I am not animal activist even though I am a vegan. To me, emergency in this world is not animal cruelty. Lack of love among humankind, especially lack of knowledge and ability of love as a parent, lover, brother and sister, as a human.It's easier to think and say this as a person who doesn't have a kid yet. I respect what you have done to your kids more than 14 years, I think it is extremely hard takecaring two kids in a sametime well. I have no idea about all the parenting skills at different ages. Especially as a divorced parent that make it harder. I can only hope and believe you can do well. I guess you know more than me about great rewarding experience through perantal love because you have experienced.
Anyhow,Let me know what you think, and your news. Thank you for pictures and your wish.
Shaaun
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