Friday, December 25, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Flower in the dream ,difficulty of dealing with non-loving centered and ignorant people
Closed experience/loving practice with flower
Ralate link: Growing California Poppy for practice of the art of loving
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
To 자희누나
This is the first attempt video recording in Korean so it's interesting to see myself talking in Korean in front of camera.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Update log
* Update log start
* edited a post "attraction"
* Add new lables/category for organize : Prearrange, Incomplete, Works in Progress
* Rearranged posts
* New post started "Love of life" in Concept of love category
September/27/2008 Saturday
* Post "Intensity" in reference category
* Complete the post "Almost get arrested, not again!?-Rant and risky moment" in Walking Journey category
*New Post "September 26th Day Vlog"
*upload video on "Day 12, Second home town, Manhattan Beach" in walking journey category
*remove category label "day blog" move posts to "me and mylife" label
September/28/2008 Sunday
*make links between few posts
*New Post "^^Video^^ 9/27/2008"
*Post "Kidney Stone experience" prearranged
*Working in progress-Sexuality and Character: from "Love, Sexuality and Matriarchy:About Gender"
September/29/2008 Monday
*New Post @#$In Progress@#$ ^^Video^^ 6-29 self reflection
*New post 6/29 Ask to Francisco and my concept
*Move some posts to new label 'Laugh with me at my sense of humor'
*Change the label name concept of love to My concept and idea about love
September/30/2008 Tuesday
*Upload a video "correlation between the are of loving and surfing"
October/02/2008 Thursday
*Post "Needs and Desire" on rambling and brain storming
October/09/2008 Thursday
*New Post "Self-liberation" on reference category.
October/10/2008 Friday
*Reference "Erotic Love" completed
*New post "End of September, end of love, and..." completed-in the category 'me and mylife'
August/23/2009 Sunday
*Recommence update log
*Rearranged posts chronologically
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Aug 4th 2009 Direct and raw expression of feeling and emotions, Verena, Parth
Monologue
continue-for Verena
continue-for Parth
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
To Daniel July 26th 2009
It was July 26th 2009 that I sent the first video mail to Daniel since then our new way of communication made some development of my communication.
Relate link
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/08/2009-08-29-to-daniel.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/08/2009-08-28-to-daniel.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/08/2009-08-16-video-mail-to-daniel.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/08/daniel-august-4th-2009.html
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Self love
While it raises no objection to apply the concept of love to various objects, it is a widespread belief that, while it is virtuous to love others, it is sinful to love oneself. It is assumed that to the degree to which I love myself I do not love others, that self-love is the same as selfishness. This view goes far back in Western thought. Calvin speaks of self-love as "a pest." Freud speaks of self-love in psychiatric terms but, nevertheless, his value judgment is the same as that of Calvin. For him self-love is the same as narcissism, the turning of the libido toward oneself. Narcissism is the earliest stage in human development, and the person who in later life has returned to this narcissistic stage is incapable of love; in the extreme case he is insane. Freud assumes that love is the manifestation of libido, and that the libido is either turned toward others-love; or toward oneself-self-love. Love and self-love are thus mutually exclusive in the sense that the more there is of one, the less there is of the other. If self-love is bad, it follows that unselfishness is virtuous.
These questions arise: Does psychological observation support the thesis that there is a basic contradiction between love for oneself and love for others? Is love for oneself the same phenomenon as selfishness, or are they opposites? Furthermore, is the selfishness of modern man really a concern for himself as an individual, with all his intellectual, emotional and sensual potentialities? Has "he" not become an appendage of his socio-economic role? Is his selfishness identical with self-love or is it not caused by the very lack of it?
Before we start the discussion of the psychological aspect of selfishness and self-love, the logical fallacy in the notion that love for others and love for oneself are mutually exclusive should be stressed. If it is a virtue to love my neighbor as a human being, it must be a virtue-and not a vice-to love myself, since I am a human being too. There is no concept of man in which I myself am not included. A doctrine which proclaims such an exclusion proves itself to be intrinsically contradictory. The idea expressed in the Biblical "Love thy neighbor as thyself!" implies that respect for one's own integrity and uniqueness, love for and understanding of one's own self, cannot be separated from respect and love and understanding for another individual. The love for my own self is inseparably connected with the love for any other being.
We have come now to the basic psychological premises on which the conclusions of our argument are built. Generally, these premises are as follows: not only others, but we ourselves are the "object" of our feelings and attitudes; the attitudes toward others and toward ourselves, far from being contradictory, are basically conjunctive. With regard to the problem under discussion this means: love of others and love of ourselves are not alternatives. On the contrary, an attitude of love toward themselves will be found in all those who are capable of loving others. Love, in principle, is indivisible as far as the connection between "objects" and one's own self is concerned. Genuine love is an expression of productiveness and implies care, respect, responsibility and knowledge. It is not an "affect" in the sense of being affected by somebody, but an active striving for the growth and happiness of the loved person, rooted in one's own capacity to love.
To love somebody is the actualization and concentration of the power to love. The basic affirmation contained in love is directed toward the beloved person as an incarnation of essentially human qualities. Love of one person implies love of man as such. The kind of "division of labor," as Willam James calls it, by which one loves one's family but is without feeling for the "stranger," is a sign of a basic inability to love. Love of man is not, as is frequently supposed, an abstraction coming after the love for a specific person, but it is its premise, although genetically it is acquired in loving specific individuals.
From this it follows that my own self must be as much an object of my love as another person. The affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, freedom is rooted in one's capacity to love, i.e., in care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge. If an individual is able to love productively, he loves himself too; if he can love only others, he cannot love at all.
Granted that love for oneself and for others in principle is conjunctive, how do we explain selfishness, which obviously excludes any genuine concern for others? The selfish person is interested only in himself, wants everything for himself, feels no pleasure in giving, but only in taking. The world outside is looked at only from the standpoint of what he can get out of it; he lacks interest in the needs of others, and respect for their dignity and integrity. He can see nothing but himself; he judges everyone and everything from its usefulness to him; he is basically unable to love. Does not this prove that concern for others and concern for oneself are unavoidable alternatives? This would be so if selfishness and self-love were identical. But that assumption is the very fallacy which had led to so many mistaken conclusions concerning our problem. Selfishness and self-love, far from being identical, are actually opposites. The selfish person does not love himself too much but too little; in fact he hates himself. This lack of fondness and care for himself, which is only one expression of his lack of productiveness, leaves him empty and frustrated. He is necessarily unhappy and anxiously concerned to snatch from life the satisfactions which he blocks himself from attaining. He seems to care too much for himself, but actually he only makes an unsuccessful attempt to cover up and compensate for his failure to care for his real self. Freud holds that the selfish person is narcissistic, as if he had withdrawn his love from others and turned it toward his own person. It is true that selfish persons are incapable of loving others, but they are not capable of loving themselves either.
It is easier to understand selfishness by comparing it with greedy concern for others, as we find it, for instance, in an oversolicitous mother. While she consciously believes that she is particularly fond of her child, she has actually a deeply repressed hostility toward the object of her concern. She is overconcerned not because she loves the child too much, but because she has to compensate for her lack of capacity to love him at all.
This theory of the nature of selfishness is borne out by psychoanalytic experience with neurotic "unselfishness," a symptom of neurosis observed in not a few people who usually are troubled not by this symptom but by others connected with it, like depression, tiredness, inability to work, failure in love relationships, and so on. Not only is unselfishness not felt as a "symptom"; it is often the one redeeming character trait on which such people pride themselves. The "unselfish" person "does not want anything for himself"; he "lives only for others," is proud that he does not consider himself important. He is puzzled to find that in spite of his unselfishness he is unhappy, and that his relationships to those closest to him are unsatisfactory. Analytic work shows that his unselfishness is not something apart from his other symptoms but one of them, in fact often the most important one; that he is paralyzed in his capacity to love or to enjoy anything; that he is pervaded by hostility toward life and that behind the facade of unselfishness a subtle but not less intense self-centeredness is hidden. This person can be cured only if his unselfishness too is interpreted as a symptom along with the others, so that his lack of productiveness, which is at the root of both his unselfishness and his other troubles, can be corrected.
The nature of unselfishness becomes particularly apparent in its effect on others, and most frequently in our culture in the effect the "unselfish" mother has on her children. She believes that by her unselfishness her children will experience what it means to be loved and to learn, in turn, what it means to love. The effect of her unselfishness, however, does not at all correspond to her expectations. The children do not show the happiness of persons who are convinced that they are loved; they are anxious, tense, afraid of the mother's disapproval and anxious to live up to her expectations. Usually, they are affected by their mother's hidden hostility toward life, which they sense rather than recognize clearly, and eventually they become imbued with it themselves. Altogether, the effect of the "unselfish" mother is not too different from that of the selfish one; indeed, it is often worse, because the mother's unselfishness prevents the children from criticizing her. They are put under the obligation not to disappoint her; they are taught, under the mask of virtue, dislike for life. If one has a chance to study the effect of a mother with genuine self-love, one can see that there is nothing more conducive to giving a child the experience of what love, joy and happiness are than being loved by a mother who loves herself.
These ideas on self-love cannot be summarized better than by quoting Meister Eckhart on this topic: "If you love yourself, you love everybody else as you do yourself. As long as you love another person less than you love yourself, you will not really succeed in loving yourself, but if you love all alike, including yourself, you will love them as one person and that person is both God and man. Thus he is a great and righteous person who, loving himself, loves all others equally."
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
My concept of having a kid, My Parents, My childhood abusement
Part1: My concept of having a kid
Part2: Continue of idea of having a kid and my childhood abusement
Part3: Early life with my parents-about abusement
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
2009-4-14 one another thought of day
I made new statement at this day: "If you are special or talented or genius and if your environment, surrounding, situation doesn't nurture you, you ought to nurture yourself. And try to find out to be nurtured from outter influence.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Drug and my resistance toward it
April-12, two days after experience Marijuana part1
April-12, two days after experience Marijuana part2
April-12, two days after experience Marijuana part3
What actually happened April 10th, 2009:
Before eat the marijuana cookie
After eat the cookie
After being sober state
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
At night of 2009-3-11
It's been exact one year.
March 11th 2008 is the day I started walking for my conviction, challenge and experiment for the art of loving.
This video is not relate with walking though. It was just about current situation.
Monday, March 9, 2009
First meeting/interview Emily
Group. A (About what she does in this time)
1. I guess you are very busy doing all performing, teaching and practicing. How is daily/weekly schedule routine?
2. How it’s like playing a violin on the street? What are the difficulties and satisfaction out of it?
3. How did you come up with the idea playing on the street and why did you pick Union Square for the place? There are many distractions and noise.
4. When was the first time you performing on the street? And how was it?
5. When I listened first time carefully your performing, I felt “she is not 100% immersed in her playing” “There is something distracts her” What do you think about it? Were you distracted?
6. First time I saw you, you were playing and looked at me and I was overwhelmed by your wild eyes I couldn’t make eye contact anymore. I felt strong suchness; a wildness and charisma. And after I saw you two more time I notice you often looking at the people while you play. What is it about? Were you checking the people?
7. How long do you think you will do busking?
Group. B (My curiosity about her as a violinist/musician)
1. What made you move to California to start rock in the midst of your study in Michigan? What is attraction of rock to you?
2. What’s your experience about gypsy and how it influenced you?
3. Have you thought about what if you didn’t leave the music school? How things could be different?
4. What are the achievements you want to reach not only in a sphere of music, also in any area of your life?
5. What are your achievements you’ve done? What do you feel about your achievement? Do you feel lucky?
6. How much musical talent do you think you born with? And how do you see that a proportion of importance between talent and discipline?
7. What do you think about your level of violin? Where you at? And if you are not mastery level or ultimate level that you want to be yet what is your concept of that ultimate level?
8. If one wants to become a master in any art, one’s whole life must be devoted to it, or at least related to it. One’s own person becomes an instrument in the practice of the art, and must be kept fit, according to the specific functions it has to fulfill. What is being kept for violin master?
9. Tell me about the hard time you had practicing/performing/composing music.
10. What was the most amazing/rewarding experience about playing a violin?
11. How you get an inspiration for composing the music? How it made? What are the requirements for composing?
12. Were you disappointed about the result of Foo Fighter recruit?
13. What are the qualities (beauty of it) about a violin that you think?
14. What’s your vision as a musician? What do you want to be and do?
Group. C (Her past life from early age)
1. What was your childhood like?
2. How do you see the fact that you born in an environment that made you start violin in very young age?
3. Have you had any hardship or suffer that is significant in your life?
Group. D (Her personal life; small and big stuffs)
1. Is there any other activity that you are interested in?
2. What do you usually do when you don’t work?
3. And what do you like to do if there is something you want to do but you couldn’t because of time limit?
4. What’s your diet and favorite dish?
5. How do you like your life? What do you think about your life so far?
6. What are your favorite classical music and favorite rock song?
7. Favorite movie?
8. First time when I was listening “Lullaby”, I felt a tremor in my heart and entire body and it almost made me cry. Description said ‘Lullabies and Serenades are written with the intention of a particular person in mind.’ What’s the story about it?
9. Do you have any conviction?
10. What do you feel about SF?
Group. E (Her universal consciousness)
1. I’ve read this from your profile on Dolorata website. ”She feels music is a conduit of truth and a passageway to the heart.” I clearly see this as one of your enlightenment by far developing human ability; playing a musical instrument and you’ve reached the level having an insight to see the part of truth, a principle of universe by doing that art/activity. When did you started to notice?
2. How you see music as energy relate with the universe?
3. Have you realized your destiny?
4. What’s your realization, enlightenment or insight from the music?
Group. F (Her concept about love)
1. What’s your concept of love?
2. Could you tell the relation/correlation between music and love?
RELATE Link:
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-jan-20-right-after-met-emily.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/03/first-meetinginterview-emily.html
Her Perfoming was unforgettable
Sunday, March 8, 2009
2009-3-8 Conversation with Parth at Glen Canyon Park
I had an important question that I wanted ask Parth
Part. 1
Part. 2
Part. 3
Part. 4
Friday, March 6, 2009
2009-3-6 Dreams in my life
Beginning 5 second is irrelevant with topic . It was editing mistake but funny as hell, ha!!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Long self talking 2009-3-3
It is process of self-analysis. There are contents of emotional rant and mumbling in this video. It could be disturbing, annoying and boring to other people.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Pool/billiard
It was made to use this as a metaphore for one of my concepts of love.
I made this footage to use as a metaphore that for comparing love and other human activities as an art. I will explain that in the future
Friday, February 13, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
2009-Jan-20 Right after met Emily
Something has to be expressed at the moment of life
RELATE Link:
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/01/2009-jan-20-right-after-met-emily.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/03/first-meetinginterview-emily.html
Her Perfoming was unforgettable http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6pk5A-QZbY
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Jan/12/2009 Meditation on the chair...and fell asleep
It was first time trying meditation on a chair and this is the result.
Evening time, especially when I am sleepy is not a good timing to meditate.
Watching myself fell asleep on meditation made me laugh out loud. So I think it's funny.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Things that I need to working on
