2010-4-20 philogyny, misogyny, misandry

So as I irriatated by those women that blame the mens immature behaviors I've been irritated by those immature womens behavior. What this indicate? It is fact that those women who been treated shitty by men are immature as well they don't have awareness that they've only meet ordinary ones that are immature and sick in this sick society and it is function of attraction that things that simmilar(simmilar meant by in sense of quality of being not necessarily what they do and behave) attract each other. Don't they really see the big picture there are much more shitty human beings call male than decent men? And it's their fault if they can meet only those immature and bad ones. Same goes to men that can not meet decent woman. When I was younger till early twenties I was philogynist. And some point after that time I gradually see more objective reality and common notion among most of people that is illusional. I started to distinguish between reality and illusional my past assumtion. "In this modernised society, most of females think they are women because of intellectual smartness and social advence but they are actually bunch of girls because they don't have much objectivity and rationality, lack of emotionality development, and absence of balanced polarity of musculinity and feminity. They still deceived by guys who as intellectually smart as they are with boyish sexuality and actually "fucked" as those guys think they fuck. Moreover, if they are not lucky at the moment, they even raped by those kind of guys because of their lack of ability to managing the situation and because lack of sense to distinct who is fuck boy, pervert and rapist and who is not. They still whiny or victimize themselves about imperfect ideal in modern society, state of social norms that is disadvantageous for them such as equality of man and woman instead of live proudly like a real woman without buying irrational shits in this society.

2010-4-18 잠실 starbucks

I see this period of my life in this way. There is calm before storm which can be compare with life moment desolate and serene. Then all of sudden storm start to create hurricane and make terrifying scene. It is now since about last 2 years of my life : pain, torment, hurt and damage. In this place where I swept and flying somewhere in the middle of hurricane while I'm so much aware the painful sensation, I see the picture of after the storm ends. It is ruined place with all the broken remedies. I see many scar in me but that's not where I'm looking intensively. I see the new creation from ruined place. I see new things that I make in the place all after cleaned up by hurricane. Ah...so that's it. This hurricane may destroy many things but it also create emptiness, nothingness, cleanness afterward. Finally I see something I can expect and have a hope.