Emily

Although we had an unpleasant incidence, we dissolved it with proper manner and that was the end of our communication. I've never seen her again after.
What can I say? She is an absolutely unforgettable woman and excellent musician.

2009-06-02 conversation with Elena

She was one of those cases not being lover but good to be with and could be greater than that but shitty at the end. I used to be a person who thinks that if there is more negative feeling I get from a person that I interact with, no matter there are many positive feelings with her I rather stop interact and cut off. Because when negative feeling is stronger than positive feeling in relationship I couldn't bear it. But through many of those cases with others, I learned a thing and changed. I became able to separate positive feeling and negative feeling. I appreciate constructive outcome even though there are destructive consequence in interaction with the one. Because if I calculate positive and negative like this,- Positive feeling-negative feeling=more positive or more negative-I will only see and think one side whether negativity or positivity and amount of after math is small. It's also not objective. So I remember people with both even though I still tend to see more of pleasurable memory.

Elena sure gave me some excellent concept and insight through several good conversation. We didn't talk something great in this video,though.

Video samples for Amber

Amber worked with me in the hostel.

She was one of most strong woman I've ever seen. And I was amazed her vitality and positive attitude after through such hard ships and suffer from extreme experiences.

I made this for her memory in San Francisco and aploud for her beautiful life!

USAhostel in San Francsico

I want to describe it as "Quite fucked up place in San Francisco" But, how many insane places in San Francisco exist? And I've lived there May 19th, 2008 to February 14th, 2010. Consider that, it's a fine hostel to stay but not too long. I mean better than homeless shelters or apartment of some drug addicts and dope smokers which is very common in San Francisco.

I made too many shitty aquantaces and had a few decent encounters in there. A few good one, a few...

Terrible Korean TIMES tele-marketer lady

I was cooking dinner and heard cell phone ringing. "Hello~" I answered in English then I heard voice of somebody in Korean. I said "여보세요", then she started "blah blah blah...". It was basically advertising for subscription TIMES but she didn't breath. And she never gave me a chance to talk. Always right after I said "yes" or "no" she cut me all the time. Once when I had a chance to talk I said "Because you throw too much information at once, I didn't understand anything what you were talking about." Then she replied, "I talked about only 3 things."

I thought 'what a terrible talker.' 'Beside of that, she doesn't know that I don't have any intention to subscribe.' 'And she doesn't even know that she is wasting her time and my time by not listening at all.' 'Don't you know the word "turn" or proportion of conversation?' 'I'm listening because I don't want to lose my gracefulness so I don't cut while she talking.' It was fun to just listen her awkward intonation of Korean, though. 'If she is tele-marketer how she gonna make money with that poor sense of communication?' I let her babble with advertising and push the camcorder button.

Zealot speech in public transportation

After I got on the train I could hear some body's voice. The voice was blunt and loud. Soon after listen few seconds I realize he was a zealot. They are more commonly seen in Seoul than crazy Los Angeles and freaky San Francisco. I could clearly feel how every bodies discomfort-being stuck in a train with a person doing loud, angry and irrational criticizing lecture. Absolute silence among others ;nobody say anything to the zealot. Somebody might say it's because of bothersome or he pity the man so he doesn't want to hurt the man or don't want to be embarrassed. Whether they ignoring the man or afraid of confrontation in public, no matter they variety the word, deep in down it's their fear, most of case. It is actually intimidating that guy on a wheel chair speaks to public with such a strong faith even though it is irrational faith. So people can not ease their mind. It seems I was the only one be able to look at the zealot man directly. He was also looked at me while he speaks, so I thought 'regardless of context, his speech is well flowing, this can be example for Korean listening lesson for the student that I teach.' It was funny idea and I giggled myself a bit. Then I pulled out and start recording. But soon, the zealot saw me recording him. He turned around to opposite side, HA!! "Are you serious?"

Not great but most important video recording I've ever done

You might experience being challenged to listen/watch this without difficulty because of different experience and life formation. Maybe because we are seperated by feeling and emotion development you and I have reached.


A lots of going around before start real talk





Finally, start talking main issue


Relate post link : http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2009/09/2009-09-07-sleepless-night.html
http://original-creation.blogspot.com/2010/03/no-title-1-incomplete.html
relate video of renetto

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kB_qbTDX8s

Korean video lesson example (in Restaurant)

Now when you practice follow as I tell you to do. I will say Korean first and give you time to repeat after me if you don't have enough time, pause the video and repeat. Then I'll tell the meaning in English and will say the word in Korean again. So you can listen again and repeat. I wrote English translation as literal as possible instead of put something adequate for how American does in same situation. Because you have to soak the language as it is like a baby not translating /filtering by your mother tongue language. This is the way of process thinking in Korean. So we are going to eliminate translation process in the brain. It takes longer time than just link with your first language to learn the vocabulary at beginning level but this pays off later you will be faster later become think in Korean than other people who use non-my style method.

Also it's very important that you have to concentrate when you listen. I don't know how long this video going to be but I recommend when you do this, don't multitask. One intensive listening is much more efficient than 10 times just hearing without full intention. When I do this kind of practice, I sit down or laid down and even sometime close eyes then listen.

The script is below the video. Don't read it when you practice. Script is just to show you literal meaning.


"어서 오세요~" welcome

"안녕하세요?" hellow

"몇 분이세요?" How many people?

"몇 분 오셨나요?" How many people came?

"한 분 이세요?" One person?

"한 분 이신가요?" Is it one person?

"혼자세요?" Are you alone?

"혼자 오셨나요?" Did you come alone?

"저 혼자에요" I am alone.또는"한 명이요" or It's one person.

"네 혼자요" Yes just myself.

"이쪽으로 오시지요." Come this way please.

"이쪽으로 오세요" Come this way or this way plase

"이쪽으로 앉으시겠어요?" Will you sit this area/here?

"여기 앉아도 돼요?" Can I sit here?

"네 그러세요" Yes so be it.

"여기 앉을게요" I will sit here.

"편한데 앉으세요" Sit where you convinient.

"아무 자리나 앉으세요" Sit any seat.

"아무 데나 앉으세요" Sit anywhere.

"네" Yes

"저기요" Excuse me. but literally means "there"

"여기요" Excuse me. but literally means "here"

"주문 할 게요" I'll order

"주문 하시겠어요?" will you order? would you like to order?

"뭐 드시겠어요?" What do you like to eat?

"뭐 하시겠어요?" What do you like to do(choose)?

"뭐로 주문 하시겠어요?" (same) "주문 뭐로 하시겠어요?" What do you like to order

"이건 뭐에요?" or "이게 뭐에요?"What is this?

"이거로 주세요" Give me this. Literally "give this"

"이거 할게요" I'll do(choose) this

"이거 먹고 싶은데요" I'd like to eat this.

"이거로 주시겠어요?" Would you give me this?

"예 알겠습니다." Yes, I see.

"실례합니다" Excuse me.

"자 여기 주문하신 거 나왔습니다" Well, here is your order.

"식사 나왔습니다" Here food is. Literally means, food has come.

"XX 나왔습니다" Here comes XX

"주문 하신 XX 나왔습니다" Here come XX that you order.

"고맙습니다" Thank you.

"필요하신 거 있으세요?" Do you need something?

"숟가락 좀 주시겠어요?" Would you give me a spoon?

"젓가락 좀 주시겠어요?" Would you give me chopsticks?

"포크 좀 주실래요?" Would you give me a fork?

"휴지 좀 주실래요?" Would you give me some napkin? "냅킨(napkin) 좀 주실래요?"

"저기요, 물 좀 주시겠어요?" Excuse me, would you give me some water?

"물 드릴까요?" Would you like water? Literally means "give you water?"

"저기요" "저기" "저" all means there but use when you call someone there.

"화장실이 어디에요?" Where is a restroom? "화장실이 어디죠?", "화장실이 어디 있나요?"

"화장실은 저쪽으로 가시면 있습니다" If you go that way, there is a restroom.

"잘 먹었습니다" I ate well.

"얼마에요?" How much? "얼마죠?"

"잘 먹었습니다 얼마죠?" I ate well, how much?

"음식이 맛있네요" The food is delicious. The food is tasty . The food tastes good. "음식이 맛있어요"

"맛있게 먹었습니다 얼마죠?" I ate well. how much?

"여기 7천원이요" Here is 7 thousand won.

"7천원이죠?" It's 7 thousand won, right? "7천원 맞죠?"

"예~, 7천원 입니다" Yes, it's 7 thousand won.

"6천원 입니다" It's 6 thousand won.

"6천5백원 입니다" It's 6 thousand 5 hundred won.

"8천원 입니다" It's 8 thousand won.

"9천원 입니다" It's 9 thousand won.

"여기 만원이요" Here is 10 thousand won.

"만원 받았습니다." Received 10 thousand won.

"여기 거스름돈 4천원 드리겠습니다" Here I give you change 4 thousand won.

"거스름돈 3천 5백원 입니다" It's change 3 thousand 5 hundred won.

"거스름돈 2천원이요" Change 2 thousand won.

"감사합니다 안녕히 가세요" Thank you good bye.

"감사합니다 또 오세요" Thank you come again.

"안녕히 계세요" So long or Good bye literally means stay safe and confortably.

You use "안녕히 가세요" when the person leaving you and you stay or leave.

"안녕히 가세요" literally means go safe and comfortably

and use "안녕히 계세요" when you leave and the person stay.

어서 오세요~"안녕하세요?" "한 분 이세요?" "네 혼자요" "이쪽으로 오시지요." "여기 앉아도 돼요?" "네 그러세요"

"여기요" "주문 하시겠어요?" "이거로 주시겠어요?" "예 알겠습니다."

"주문 하신 XX 나왔습니다" "고맙습니다" "저기요, 물 좀 주시겠어요?" "네~"

"화장실이 어디에요?" "화장실은 저쪽으로 가시면 있습니다" "고맙습니다"

"얼마에요?" "6천5백원 입니다" "여기 만원이요" "만원 받았습니다." "거스름돈 3천 5백원 입니다"

"잘 먹었습니다" "안녕히 계세요" "감사합니다 안녕히 가세요"

How to transcend this pain and heal properly

Also on Youtube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA3IHTOeX6k
Coincidentally, Youtuber renetto has upload the video in same context in same day

2010-3-16 French listening example

This video is example of listening practice. Where I am at in this video is obviously very crowded. But that shouldn't be matter. I have to be assertive and uninhibited. It means that I don't care at all about other people look at me or listen me speaking. I am strong introverted person so I can easily distracted by surrounding where there are people. But I have to eliminate most of perception from outer world and shift perception to inner world. That's also nature of introverted trait. How I do is first think 'Be proactive, this is my life and I do what is important for me and it doesn't hurt anybody.' 'Is there any reason to feel embarrassment?' 'No.' 'Then let's do it.' Then I can concentrate on what I do at the moment. And when I listen I have to "spend" my energy to maximize the sound receiving brain work. If the energy is divided to receiving visual, olfactory or any other stimulus, it lessen the perception of auditory stimulus which cause inefficiency of the training/practice. To enhance concentration on listening it also help closing eyes. But even I close eyes I can still visualize. Therefore, I have to not imagine anything. When I open my eyes while I'm listening, what happen is that there is visual image right through eyes but I don't link that scene with any thinking or meaning. So it's like blank eyes. In this video I only recorded 11 minutes of my 30 minutes of cassette tape listening. After I turned off the camcorder I became more intensive and I immersed on listening and repeating. 30 minutes of such a concentration is quite difficult but it's proper time. After finish 30 mins section my throat hurt a bit and if I do 1 hour long it's hard to fully concentrate that long and my throat get damage. Always, it's quality more matter than quantity, depth more matter than breath in any human action.

About 2 minutes from beginning is no repeating only listening.

2010-3-14 suffer from being puzzled

Why do I feel low and not energetic? Is it something to do with financial insecurity? Or is it essentially because of feeling of disconnection or lack of connection? There are two dimension of connection matter. One is connection with others-world. The other one is unintegrated life which is disconnection between my action and destined achievement, daily basis life and ideal plan. Have I lost again? This lost feeling and puzzled life...It's such an energy taking black hole. I feel as being sucked by black hole, shattered to thousand pieces, going backward. I used to write about pain and suffering 5 years ago. Am I in same point again? What don't I do that I supposed to do? What should I do to make life integrated again? (continue on video)

Maybe this is kind of situation -completely lost on the vast ocean and nothing is showing, indicating where the land is. So only thing a sailor can do is just keep going until find something he can guide himself.