2010-3-14 suffer from being puzzled

Why do I feel low and not energetic? Is it something to do with financial insecurity? Or is it essentially because of feeling of disconnection or lack of connection? There are two dimension of connection matter. One is connection with others-world. The other one is unintegrated life which is disconnection between my action and destined achievement, daily basis life and ideal plan. Have I lost again? This lost feeling and puzzled life...It's such an energy taking black hole. I feel as being sucked by black hole, shattered to thousand pieces, going backward. I used to write about pain and suffering 5 years ago. Am I in same point again? What don't I do that I supposed to do? What should I do to make life integrated again? (continue on video)

Maybe this is kind of situation -completely lost on the vast ocean and nothing is showing, indicating where the land is. So only thing a sailor can do is just keep going until find something he can guide himself.