Saturday, May 24, 2008

Childish ranting?(May/24/2008)

This is one of moment that I usually have when I'm not loving. Everybody seems superficial or immature or childish or arrogance or cynical. Everybody seems behave like mere animal. Everybody looks live without meaning of their life. I just want to say...'why you live? why you breath? don't you feel yourself like just some filthy living being? why don't you kill yourself so at least you can do something about your life instead of being forced to live that way by all other higher power, you weak!, follower!, masochist!' then I just want give them one nice side kick on their face. Where is humanitarian?! Where are all beautiful minds?!...This is one of same feeling and reaction that I had have in days, weeks and months in Korea, Long Beach. So I had left Korea! Then I moved to CA. Then after I've lived in Long Beach eighteen months I have left Long Beach, too! It is not only about environment! It is mostly about my state! When I'm not in love, when I'm single, when I don't have an object of love, especially when I am powerless, I am lonely, angry, and frustrated. No more Mr. smile, no talk, no eye contact, Wild eyes, blunt attitude, and judgemental, instead. Even though I know this is one of reaction of my introverted temperament, I don't want to be like this. It's not pleasant moment. Sometime I want to deny my temperament.
----------to be added and edited later

No comments: