One who never approve and one who never forgive. That's how my father and I coexist.

Me? As a son of my father, I am one who has never been approved, complemented, understood, respected. He as my father, is the one who never say sorry or thank you to me. This is a horrendous human relation that ought to be cut. But the case is impossible to be so unless one of them died. In 2006 there was a moment that I wanted to kill my mother and father by my own hand, physical murder. To get rid of the unbearable pain that generated by their existence and their actions in the past and present I imagined the scene of removing their presense as a punishment regardless it is unreasonable judgement or not. I never had notion of revenge, though. However, it remained in intense thought and didn't occur as an action. And since then that kind of thought and anger never have aroused as strong as it was. Feeling cool downed but it has gotton too cold. It has been already more than 4 years that I've decided to not even attend to his funeral after he dies. I don't even make eye contact with him and we barely through the few words to each other in a week and those words are also stricted to life functional matters.
I've heard from somewhere. In buddism, even after one died the energy continue and the karma of previous life become a new life whether it is low frequency or high frequency; reincanation. Then he and I will have some kind of new relationship after one of us or both of us died. But that's not the matter of life relation of this time as this human being. An idea cutting off two human being's relation is like cutting the air with a sword. Even with mere one minute aquentances is impossible. They think they are completely disconnected but it's actually self blinding not the disconnection. Anyway people can satisfied by the self-blinding because it's an easy trick. They prefer to believe those illusion 'she's gone','I don't see him nor think of him anymore so I am happy'.

Now then Shaaun what would you do if you know that it is impossible and you don't like the deceptive way?