Sunday, May 25, 2008

May/20/2008 Tuesday

1-I looked at the contact list in my cell phone again. I know there is nobody to really call as always. I do that when I'm emotionally not peaceful or unhappy. And most of case I don't call to anybody because I don't want to be a person who is needy give bad energy to other people, emotionally dependent to friends. The reason why my mind is not peaceful, not pleasurable is I saw people who just had citizenship ceremony and became U.S. citizen. Where was it? It was on California street between Taylor and Jones Street.

2-After I wrote things on above in a starbucks, I just walked toward a main library. On the way to the library, I went to the street Grant at Post just one block next to Union Square because I was wonder I can see the lady played a violin on the street yesterday on that spot. I would say she was quite impressive. Because she got my attention even though I was bit tired and not in a good mood at that time. She was playing a violin on the corner of busy street wearing jean and sleeveless white top, dark blond, average tall and slender body. She was too good looking to be street violinist. So I was curious. Does she really do that for living? How much she earn from doing that? It could be good enough money for living in SF because she has beautiful look and her playing is not bad at all compare to other street musician who I've seen. Even though, I was in hurry to go eating dinner, I actually wanted to stand there for awhile to listen her sad mood music. 'If I had a camcorder at the moment, I definitely would record that.' And I walked toward her, When I get closer to her, I slow down my fast pace walk, and looked at her, her face. And she looked at me while she playing. 'What a wild eyes!' I was little bit overwhelmed. I couldn't keep stare at her. I didn't stop walking. I glimpsed her violin case. There was some money but I didn't even try to figure out approximately how much it was. That wasn't matter. My questions were 'What does she think?', 'does she aware of how good look she is?', 'Why does she play on a street?'. I know classical musicians are having hard time earn money as an artist in this time, but is that really reason she doing that? If so, I admire her courage and art ship. But I carefully guessing what if the reason of her decision that playing on the street is because simply for the good money? If that is case, she will not only not reach the master level of artist much less, self-realization. But I can't be sure she won't be fulfilled by just one fact that she play violin for the money.

3-Being in a hostel is just always too much stimulating. After talk with several people I forget what I thought when I was by myself. Especially after encounter with people that are not really talkable or interesting it feels even worse than really boring and tired by myself. What am I doing? Focus! dude!

4-So today afternoon just before I went to library I dropped by Boarders.

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