I watched the movie "Into the Wild" yesterday. Because Justin strongly recommended to read book or watch this movie because he assumed I would like it. And Sarah also asked me that to see this movie day before yesterday.
It's a real story of the guy name Christopher Johnson McCandless, who did 2 years of journey based on his drive and self belief. Let me not write all the story of this movie. I was really empathize with Chris because he was extraordinary, gifted adult like me. Because I've read and learn about my type of people, gifted adult, from the book "Liberating Everyday Genius" I could notice many common things with him and I. He has intensity, complexity, drive.
He had bad childhood by non loving parents as me.
He had radical and humanistic mind too. And he acted by it which I did too. And naturally ordinary people couldn't understand him as I have experience. He burned all his money, destroyed all his identity cards on his tramp. I spent all my money on my journey and I let my visa status lost.
He had life risk moment in his tramp, as I had life threaten moment on my walking journey.
He caught on the Boarder Protection in San Diego County which I was arrested one day in exact same building.
He went to the shelter in the City when he didn't have money and place to stay. I went to the shelter and slept two days when I came to San Francisco.
He was alone in the wild mountain. I had the moment by myself on the wild beach. He probably experienced and felt the same way that I did-feel the beauty of nature, peacefulness and oneness with nature and universe.
These are his words in the movie
"If we admit that human life can be rule by reason, the possibility of life is destroyed. "
"Hate to think of a wild man like you in a cage. Tramping is too easy with all this money you paid me."
"My days were more exciting when I was penniless."
"The freedom and simple beauty is just too good to pass up..."
And his last word that he wrote before he died made me cry.
"Happiness only real when shared." he wrote it in his book and cried. His last enlightenment...
He left his given name by himself on the magic bus.
May 1992
And last scene of movie that display his portrait with this subtitle made me cry again.
Christopher Johnson McCandless, February 12, 1968- August 18, 1992
He died at age twenty four.....24! That is tragedy and serious loss. He has genius trait. He could have been realized much more than that.
But his misfortune made him died before he thrive the world. He could been make world better. I through that number of age and I really appreciate and feel grateful about that I could through extreme hard ship and dangerous moments. I am stronger and feel better than ever and now I know my life will keep growing like this.
He was angry young man. Angry about his parents and society.
I know that anger because I had it. That's not anger of evil. It's anger based on justice and humanistic vision. Real sad part is he through and passed that stage right before his death. If he could get out of that wild, his life after that journey would be much beautiful and euphoric than his happiness that he thought.
I keep thinking 'If he had psychological knowledge, he could realize his pain and anger earlier than he did.' 'If he read "Liberating Everyday Genius" he could been realize his purpose of life.' 'If he learned what I learned little bit earlier he would still alive and we could been meet each other in same time in this land.'...
His radical actions-get rid of all his identity cards, burn all the money he had, just ride the kayak without permission and helmet, hopping on a train, etc-are completely understandable and reasonable to me. Those risks and sufferings are faith and necessary procedure of gifted adults' fulfillment.
I deeply empathized with him as my peer, gifted person till next day. I had to do something makes me feel I-ness. Because living in a building with pack of people in the crowed city, I easily distracted and lose my truthfulness, being myself as best of me and core of me. So I decided to do something to find me to feel the power of me. "Do something radical and uninhibited!"
so...
I cut my hair but this style is not what I planned before I start to cut. When I was cutting my hair, I was failing getting right shape that I wanted to have. So I just fixed it and this is how it come out. I needed to get helped to make that line and that part was done by James. I've never done this style before and I didn't even know it call "Mohawk". It's just my original idea. I felt fresh and satisfaction rather than regret. People's reaction? First time, shock and surprising. "What happen?", "Huh?", "Oh my god, Shaaun". Second time, "It's fucking awesome", "I like it". I have multi sides of me. So to me it's not like revealing/discovering or try something different and new or "It's not like Shaaun". Just refreshing and being myself.
Relative Link : Intensity , Grizzly Man , Mexican Border Jail experience
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