last thing among many experiences in tonight

I was walking on my way home and when I am passing a small play ground that is very close to my place I glimpsed and recognize there was a woman sitting, riding on swing. All grown woman who looks not much attractive nor impressive but I wanted to sit on a bench near the swing that she was riding. The bench was placed behind her so I didn't bother to look at her face directly. I sighed and sighed without much thinking but with feeling of tiredness. I was tired by all the same night mood stuffs that I was dealing with since evening till that moment 11PM. Dealing with wounds from the past and current dissatisfaction and puzzled matters in love and life. I sighed several times countinuously but gradually getting little. Then I heard the woman weeped. I immidiately looked at her and soon she weeped again and once again. But not pouring tear nor cry out. Without noticing when it started I was already feeling something intensive. Meantime I was hesitating between impulse and pulling back. 'I want to go and talk to her.' 'I want to know what her pain is.' 'What if her story is shitty and something makes me disgust?' 'Then how I am going to help her?' she didn't weep any more but continue swinging in small circling motion by putting her weight on her one leg that is contacted to ground. 'She might be one of those just weak miserable ordinary modern woman.''The fact that she is crying and I am not doesn't mean her experience is something more severe than mine.''But I am curious.''I can't just approach to her for sake of my curiousity without compassion, intention of giving and helping.' I decided to not stay there anymore and I walked away. I heard one more weep from behind feel bitterness and kept go on my way till I arrive home thinking 'This is a miserable country full of people in pain.' 'And I don't like myself incapable of giving.'